Online Dating Rules

Online Dating Rules – Part 2

Thursday, September 16th, 2010

3. No Old Pictures – Look like What You Look Like

Putting up a picture and a brief line: “just looking’ for a honey to spend some time wit” is not the best course of action. For best results, try to adhere to the following:

* Use a CURRENT picture. Not one that’s 10 years old or even 5 years old. Because when you meet, they’ll know who you REALLY are.
* Don’t brag about who you are. I’m sure you’re very interesting and fascinating, but it will become very clear that you are already in a love affair: with yourself.
* Use proper grammar & punctuation. It matters and if a dating personals is too lazy to focus on what they’re saying, then they’ll be even less focused on what YOU’RE saying.

Romantic Dating Online

* Be HONEST about your circumstances. Be HONEST about your goals. Be HONEST about your agenda. Be honest about who the heck you are and what the heck you’re looking for.
* Don’t parade the fact that you’re financially successful. It makes you look like a snob and you’ll only attract other snobs or gold-diggers.
* Don’t wear self-pity like it’s a warm, hand-knitted sweater. So you’re divorced. So you just got dumped. So what? If you choose to put yourself out there, then you’re stating that you’re ready to date. Ergo, don’t become the Swamps of Sadness that everyone has to steer clear of. Leave your drama where it belongs – at home, under the floorboards, bound and gagged. There’s nothing noble about wallowing in self-pity. It only makes you look pathetic.
* Your profile is an extension of you and is the resume for your personal life. Make it good.

4. Be Gentle

Some may not believe that this is important, but when your desires are not reciprocated, there is a proper way to deal with it. If you’re mental SOS isn’t immediately picked up by your date, let them down gently.

Not Acceptable:

* “Crap, I forgot to feed my dog before I left!” You both know Rover isn’t starving.
* “I’ve got a bunch of errands to run after this.” Doesn’t work, no matter what the hour is.
* “Whoops, look at that *checking cell phone*. I got to run but it was great meeting you! We’ll do this another time?” Yeah, I wouldn’t hold my breath.
* “I just don’t feel up to really date online anyone right now.” So why am I here?

Dating Through Online

Acceptable:

* “Hey, so thanks for the coffee/drink/dinner. I had a great time, but I really should be going. I hope you have a great evening. Good Night.
* It IS acceptable to arrange a decoy phone call. It gives you an out and you don’t have to lie. Just try not to go over the top with your dramatic exit.
* Even if you’re not interested, you still should spend 20-30 minutes with this person before escaping. Then you go home and draft an email:
* “Thank you again for meeting me. I enjoyed hearing about _____ and ______. While I did enjoy meeting you, I didn’t really feel that strong a connection with you. Please don’t take offense to this.” You’ve done nothing wrong. Good luck with the site and be safe!

Online Dating Kiss

5. Act Your Age – Do Not Lie

* There are various unspoken rules in our society. Always bring flowers to Moms house, wash after you wipe, 2 parts to 1 makes perfect rice and you never lie about how you look.
* This includes uploading pictures of you wearing your 10th grade cheerleader uniform when you graduated 15 years ago.
* This means you don’t send a picture of your ripped, surfer 27 yr old son and call it an accident.
* This means you don’t list 20 shots of you in the same room, wearing the same shirt, shooting from the same 10 feet up angle, with 20 different facial expressions and calling it “random.”
* This means you don’t pimp out your hotter, younger sister because, in reality, you’re a 300lb shut-in who hasn’t thought past phase 1 and fails to realize that when you do meet face-to-face, the conversation will be short and sweet.

Dating Night

* “I didn’t think you’d go out with me because of how I looked.” You were right.
* Don’t type “I’m 45 years young!” Why men do this is beyond date me to online. You’re still 45 and now, you’re officially trying too hard.
* Don’t type “You’re only as old as you feel!” I have the energy of a 12 yr old. Still want to date me?
* Don’t type “I’m 50 but I look 30!” Never, ever apologize for your age, unless you’re 16.
* Don’t be carrying 100 extra big ones, be pushing retirement and have no sense of humor and then declare you will only date girls if they come gift wrapped and carrying their own stuffed toys. Sick.

Tags: date me, date online, dating personals